Monday, September 27, 2010


I knew this day would come I just didn't expect it to be this soon.

After Jackson was born he immediately had some problems from the beginning. His entire first year there was so much going on. In and out of the hospital we didn't really know where things where going. After he turned one and closer to 2 we knew that his life would be different and he was not simply going to "grow out of" the things he was going through. I knew that having another child would be difficult but I felt very strongly that Jackson needed a sibling. He needed that relationship. He needed someone to be there for him in ways that I wouldn't be able to. That was one of the many reasons why we had Noah. Ever since Noah was born I've felt a very different relationship with him compared to Jackson. Noah and adores his big brother. Wants to do everything his big brother does. Jackson loves his little brother. (most of the time,except when he's stealing trains). They have a very special bond and its very clear to see it. I knew there would come a day that Noah would pass Jackson up and in a way become the big brother. I figured it would be a few more years and Noah would cognitively pass him. But in a way in happened today. This afternoon we went for a short walk up the street. We don't go for walks very often because Jackson fatigues so quickly he can't walk very far before needing to be carried. Between the 2 of them I can't carry both of them. Today they both where running around outside enjoying the fall crisp air we decided to walk for a little bit. Jackson running as fast as his tall 4 year legs would carry him and Noah running as fast as his little 20 month legs would carry him we all ran up the street. Most of the way of the street the where side by side, giggling the entire way up. Best friends. But as we got closer to the top Noah was still going and Jackson was slowing. I could see the pain and frustration in Jackson's eyes. His little body failing him. How desperately he wanted to run more, to get to the top of the hill, to be with his best friend. But he couldn't. His body giving out and not allowing him what his little heart longed for. Within seconds of passing Jackson Noah realized he was passed his brother and turned towards him. He slowed down and waited for his brother. For the last few feet to top of the hill the walked together. Jackson collapsing at the top and crying to be carried home. Noah wanting to run and play more. It had happened. At 20 months old Noah can do more then his brother physically, can fun faster, can go farther. At 4 Jackson realized this today. It hurt him. But his brother was there. He waited for him and they where best friends walking to the end. Just how imagined it when Noah was born. It was bittersweet to see Noah running faster then his little legs could carry him but also passing his brother was heart wrenching. I know there will come more and more times where Noah will pass Jackson. This will be the first of many. I just hope and pray that they will be always be there for each other like they where today. Finishing hand in hand as a best friends.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Jackson spilled the beans

We have a secret!!

Big Brothers in mid May!!!!

I had to share another photo. This is Noah's face now any time we take a picture.

I was putting Jackson on the bus this morning and his aide said "congrats, I hear your expecting!"
What? Jackson had told them yesterday on the bus so I guess its out now.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Our Trip

We took a trip out to Utah for my BIL Matt's wedding. We had a great time.

First day we drove to Colorado and stayed at Michael's moms house. We spent about 12 hours in the car. We stopped in the middle of kansas at a rest stop to have a picnic lunch and let the kids run around. Despite being in the car for so many hours the kids did really good. I was really worried about how the kids would do in the car. I even thought about buying a dvd player for the car(which normally I wouldn't do). But I loaded up a box of books, crayons, small toys, and favorite stuffed animals and put in between their seats. We brought tons of favorite snacks and all of the kids music.

The second day we drove from Colorado to Utah. The kids did ok in the car. It was less hours in the car but I don't think we timed the rest stops as well. We got to Utah and stayed with Michael's aunt for a couple of nights. The boys got to play with their cousins Brenden and Malcolm. They got along really well. Too bad we don't live closer to them still.

Then Friday night we upto Layton/Bountiful area for the wedding. Friday and Saturday nights we stayed in hotel. Jackson loved getting to swim the hotel pool. The first night it took him awhile to be ok with the water,he's still scared for an incident earlier this summer. But thanks to Aunt Nicole, who swims at BYU-I and his lifeguard, got him out in the water and having fun.

Saturday morning was the wedding at the Bountiful temple. Here is the happy couple coming out after the wonderful sealing.

Jackson and Noah waited outside the temple. They looked so handsome dressed up. We didn't get a great picture of them together but they really looked cute.

The wedding reception was the later that day. It was a beautiful reception that was outside. It was incredibly hot that day and I was worried about Jackson over heating so we let him wear shorts to the reception. The boys loved dancing around to the music and playing with cousin Brenden.

We had another fun night playing in the hotel that night.

Sunday we drove down to Salt Lake and stopped at temple square. We didn't have a lot of time but we walked around outside the temple and went in the visitors center to look at the Cristus statue.

After that we drove back down to provo and stopped by to visit our friends Derrick and Stephanie. They where our best friends when we lived in Provo. It was great see them again. It didn't take Jackson any time at all to start playing with them and running all over the house.

After leaving Provo we drove back to colorado and got there about 1 in the morning. The next morning we got up and spent some more time visiting and saying goodbye to family. Then we got on the road to head back to Missouri. This last drive was the worst day of driving out of the 4 days we spent driving. One kid would sleep 30 minutes, while the other was upset, then the other would fall asleep and one wake up and start screaming. Then after a couple hours they both went to pretty much crying the rest of the way home. We had to stop a lot at random places because they where crying so much. During a stretch in Kansas in the middle of no where Noah was screaming. There was no where to pull over at all. I had a thought to sing primary songs to the boys and then we sang their songs we sing at night. After like 45 minutes of singing they both fell asleep. Although it was rough we made it home in the middle the night. Poor Jackson had to get up the next morning for his first day of school. Not the best way to start the school year but it all worked out.

Other highlights of our trip. Getting to visit with lots of family, aunts, grandparents, cousins. Eating at bajio, cafe rio, and fudruckers. (Why do we have no good food places in Missouri, seriously!) We also had lots of good food prepared by wonderful family. Stopping at the BYU campus and going to the bookstore. I wanted to get Jackson a souvenir from our Utah trip so we got him his first scripture case that has a BYU logo on it. Now he can take his own Book of Mormon to church on Sundays. Noah got a little BYU basketball on it. Noah still absolutely loves any ball. Watching Jackson see and learn lots of knew things. In Kansas there is lots of oil rigs pumping. Jackson loved watching them and learning about oil. It was pretty funny too. There was some that weren't pumping and Jackson said they where sick and needed some medicine so they could pump again for its friends. There where also lots of wind turbines spinning. Jackson learned about the turbines making energy. On our drive from colorado to Utah Jackson got see mountains( he doesn't remember living in Utah and seeing them before) His favorite part was driving through the tunnels and getting to go through the mountains. We probably listened to the polar express soundtrack over 30 times. Jackson now asks to stop at rest stops so he can "rest" because he's tired but he really just wants to run around and play. Over all it was a great trip and the boys had so much fun.