Tuesday, January 31, 2012

My Beautiful Heartbreak

My beautiful Heartbreak

I’ve been thinking about this song all week. Its definitely my theme song right now. Here are the lyrics to the song Beautiful Heartbreak by Hilary weeks (a link to the songs music video is at the bottom, its wonderful so if you have a minute, watch it!)

I had it all mapped out in front of me,
Knew just where I wanted to go;
But life decided to change my plans,
And I found a mountain in the middle of my road.

I knew there was no way over it,
So I searched for a way around;
Brokenhearted I started climbin',
And at the top I found...

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights;

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.
I never dreamed my heart would make it,
I thought about turning around;
But heaven has shown me miracles,
I never would have seen from the ground.

Now I take the rain with the sunshine,
Cause there's one thing that I know;
He picks up the pieces,
Along each broken road.

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.



I never really thought I would be were I am now. I never expected “this” to be my mountain to climb. Here I am. A single mother to 3 beautiful sweet boys. The oldest being special needs and has a progressive disease. The other 2 having their own unique needs and health issues as well. Life right now is definitely a rollercoaster. Filled with the chaos that comes with my kids. I’ve been on this journey now for awhile. Realizing this is my beautiful heartbreak. Life will always be hard, stressful and crazy. But, it will be amazing! There will be joy! Learning to dance in the rain. This song is exactly how I feel. I would never trade the feelings I have now. I have truly found the greatest joy being the mother to my sweet boys. I want them to be able to look back and know that they where the most important things and I never gave up. Even when things where hard. Even when I felt alone and felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, I never gave up. I want my children to know that God loves us. He has blessed me with the strength to be their mom. He trusts me. He trusts me to be everything they need me to be. He knows that I can. Now I just have to believe I can. I’m trying to focus on just enjoy the precious time I have with my children. I know that there will be more tears. I know many more sleepless nights spent in hospital rooms I will have. But I know He will be there for me. He will be there to pick up the pieces and lift me up. There will be pain. But I know that will make the joy and the miracles so much sweeter. I know I will have days I will slide down the mountain and not be able to see this. It will feel too much and I won’t remember I have the strength to carry on. I just pray I can remember the joy will come again. I’ll be listening to this song during our lengthy hospital stay next week to keep me going.This is my beautiful heartbreak.

The video of the song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xyX-I-um5Kk

1 comment:

  1. Every mother feels so much for their children...and you have more to feel than most. Thank you for sharing!

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